Review of Babel

Babel is a delightful romp through Hollywood's decline of storytelling. Running right along with other crap fests like Crash we have a story with no structure whatsoever using unrelated happenstances to attempt to confuse people into thinking there is something in this movie that they don't "get" so they will think it must be "deep".

In story number one, we have a perverted little Iraqi kid jacking off to his sister. No point to this at all, his sex problems don't advance the story at all. His father trades a goat for a gun and he shoots a lady (Cate Blanchett) who's pissed at her hubby (Brad Pitt) for making her be in Iraq. She doesn't die. There is no development of any character. Nothing happens that changes things for anyone.

Story number two, sex starved DEAF Japanese girl. Can't make boys fuck her, so she flashes people and acts slutty. Tries to fuck a dentist and a cop. Shows some nice titties. Would have worked just as good if she wasn't deaf. No point to her doing the drugs and still not getting laid. There is nothing in the whole story other than "mom died, I'm sad and horney" the rest is filler.

(I actually had to look up what story number three was, in the two hours from watching this movie to writing the review I was so underwhelmed that I forgot about 1/3rd of this non-story. )

Story number three, stupid Mexican nanny has to take a couple of American kids to Mexico for a wedding. Her dirt bag drunken nephew or son or something runs the border and abandons them all in the desert. Dead chickens scare the kids, Mexican rednecks dance. Still waiting for SOMETHING to happen that has anything to do with the plot.

Finnaly you see that Cate doesn't die, the nanny goes to jail and the Japanese girl is still sad. No development up to it, it's almost like they say "Wait, wait, wait.... Ok, everyone's the same as they were this movie never actually happened! GOTCHA!"

None of these stories stands by itself. Neither do they stand together. Sure, a tenuous link that the white lady on the bus was the mom of the kids in Mexico and the dad in Japan gave the Iraqi who gave the Iraqi who gave the Iraqi kid the gun is enough of a connection for the short story writer that came up with these three abortions to put them into a movie, but it's not enough for me to not think I'm looking at MS NBC jumping back and forth about crap that is happening in other parts of the world.

I really can't stand these chop and hitch stories that allow lazy screenwriters to fill a two hour slot with whatever crap fell out of their trash bin and get people to pay $20 to sit in a theater. Come on people, demand actual stories. If you don't get it, it doesn't mean your stupid. It doesn't mean that it's deep. It means that you are NOT entertained by it.

Call it what it is. DON'T GIVE IT A GODDAMN OSCAR and flush it down the john.

2 of 5 stars for good casting and nice titties.