Review of Cemetery Man 5/5 for spun

It's been about ten years of searching for this movie. An old roomy of mine had it on VHS from somewhere, and I couldn't find it anywhere. Netfix didn't have it, BB video also no go.

So I found it where I found The Maxx in digital form, on the uber-pirate web! I jammed the cemetery man down the tube and it didn't block any bigwig republican money data, more's the pity.

The zombies are pretty much an every day thing for our fine hero, who's mother hung Frank of the Dead on him rather than giving him a real name. This movie is French, so he actually goes by Francisco Dellamorte. He's been running this cemetery for years, and takes out the three day risers as a matter of nightly life. They queue up at his office door, since he and Gnaghi are the only two tasty tidbits within the walls of the cemetery.

Then it gets crazy. Gnaghi who is a shy round mute dude who only says "gna!" throughout the movie meets the mayors daughter, she dies, and he falls in love with her rotting corpse. Franco falls in love with a crazy widow who has a thing for his ossuary "dead body room" furnished with bone sculptures, and they do the bone dance in the bone room. After a few dead skeleton hands pinch her ass and take off all her clothes!

Oh, she dies.

Then there's a bus crash, she comes back, gets killed again, comes back again, gets burnt down, comes back, gets shot, then Franco cuts off his junk, chemically, finds out that she's in love with a dude who raped her, so he kills her, then she's a hooker so he kills her again....

Wow, it's crazy. Then he kills his insurance dude buddy and a whole shitload of nuns, which is great, and they leave town.

If you can't find this movie, I'd gladly loan it to you if you live in my town. Everyone who loves zombies has to see this one!

Best part of the movie: OMFG! Those marshmallows burn FOREVA!

Teh worstest: Having to look for ten fucking years to find it.

5/5 stars! BIG STARS!